We find reasons

We rarely accept events or incident that happened as they are, instead that we weave explanations the reason that fit our comfort, our worldview, or our convenience.

Think of it like standing in front of a mirror that bends, the reflection is recognizable, but distorted just enough to make us feel taller, slimmer, or stronger. The truth is still there, but softened to suit our comfort.

Similarly in a exam failure, we give the reason with our convenient. “The exam was unfair, the questions were tricky.” This is self-serving bias, shifting blame outward to protect self-esteem. Sometimes the preparation wasn’t enough, but admitting that hurts more than blaming the exam.

Again this happens in Relationship Breakup. “They didn’t value me, they were selfish.” This is face-saving, preserving dignity by painting oneself as the victim. Often, both sides contribute to the breakdown, but that’s harder to accept.